How to Broach the Subject of Divorce with Young Children

Discussing divorce with young children is a challenging yet necessary conversation. Parents often worry about how the news will impact their children emotionally and mentally. Peter Johnson, senior partner at Alexander JLO, offers valuable insights on how to navigate this delicate situation effectively and compassionately.

1. Prepare Yourself

Before initiating the conversation, take time to process your feelings about the divorce. Understand your emotions and be ready to offer reassurance to your children. A well-prepared mindset can help you communicate more clearly and effectively.

2. Choose the Right Time and Place

Find a comfortable, private setting to discuss the topic. Choose a time when your children are calm and open to conversation, ensuring there are no distractions. This creates an environment where they feel safe to express their feelings. Where appropriate both parents should sit down together when breaking the news to the children

3. Keep it Age-Appropriate

Tailor your explanation to your children’s ages and understanding. Young children may not grasp complex concepts, so use simple language. Focus on the fact that both parents love them and that the decision to divorce is not their fault.

4. Be Honest but Gentle

While it’s important to be honest, avoid going into excessive detail about the reasons for the divorce. Providing a straightforward and gentle explanation can help prevent misunderstandings. Emphasise that the divorce is a decision between adults and does not change the love they you for your children.

5. Encourage Questions

After sharing the news, encourage your children to ask questions. Be open to their inquiries and offer truthful answers without overwhelming them. This helps them process their emotions and reinforces that it’s okay to talk about their feelings.

6. Reassure Them

Children may feel anxious or insecure after hearing about the divorce. Reassure them that both parents will continue to be a part of their lives and that they will be cared for. Regular reassurance can help ease their fears and uncertainty.

7. Discuss Changes

Talk about what changes they can expect in their daily lives, such as living arrangements and visitation schedules. Providing a clear picture of what life will look like can help reduce anxiety and create a sense of stability.

8. Monitor Their Emotional Well-Being

After the conversation, keep an eye on your children’s emotional responses. Children may express their feelings through behaviour rather than words. Be patient and attentive, and offer support as they process the changes in their lives. As part of this you may consider warning the school so that they can watch for signs of distress and share that with you.

9. Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you notice your children struggling significantly with the news, consider consulting a child psychologist or therapist. Professional guidance can provide them with coping strategies and support during this challenging time.

Conclusion

Broaching the subject of divorce with young children is undoubtedly difficult, but with careful planning and empathy, it is possible to communicate effectively. Peter Johnson of Alexander JLO emphasises the importance of love, reassurance, and open dialogue during this transition. By providing your children with the support and understanding they need, you can help them navigate this uncertain time and emerge healthier and more resilient.

This blog was prepared by Alexander JLO’s senior partner, Peter Johnson on the 8th  February 2025 and is correct at the time of publication. With decades of experience in almost all areas of law Peter is happy to assist with any legal issue that you have. He is widely regarded as one of London’s leading divorce lawyers. His profile on the independent Review Solicitor website can be found Here