1. It’s midnight. You have left work early and you’re flying home from Canary Wharf in your Porsche when you are hit in the rear by a contraption pulled by some four legged animals with horns driven by a bloke with a white beard. Do you:-
(a) ring your loved one on the mobile and explain you’ll be home late because of the rain, dear;
(b) grab your camera and offer the photos to The Mirror (Ed: product placement OK?).
(c) exchange particulars and call the Police if one of Santa’s little helpers has been injured.
2. It’s the night of the office party and your head of department wants a Christmas kiss. Do you:-
(a) tell him that you’ve worked your 48 hours that week under the Working Time
Regulations and slap him round the face;
(b) instead of joining your friends and doing the bossanova, go ahead and do the boss a favour;
(c) make a mental note to call your Solicitor after Christmas and file a complaint for harassment.
3. You have not received your usual Christmas bonus. Do you:-
(a) pick up Dickens, a glass of port, and murmur “Bah humbug”;
(b) look through the Appointments Section of The Wharf for a new job;
(c) issue an application for unlawful deduction from pay at your local Employment Tribunal.
4. You have been pulled over by the Police and asked to blow into this little boxy thing. Do you:-
(a) not even think of claiming that you are an asthma sufferer (please don’t);
(b) not even consider reaching for the hip flask in your glove compartment before getting out of the car (again please don’t);
(c) blow away content in the knowledge that, after an excellent year in Docklands, your company will have no problem in providing you with a chauffeur for the
next 12 months.
If you answer (c) to each of the questions, have you thought of becoming a lawyer? If you need one over Christmas because you have been stopped and breathalysed, Alexander Johnson’s criminal department offers a 24 hour freephone service on 0800 277278 (0800 ARREST).
May we wish you all the compliments of the season.
Peter Johnson is the Senior Partner of Alexander Johnson, Solicitors, 10-11 Lanark Square, Glengall Bridge, London E14 9RE. Tel: 0171.537.7000. E-mail: email@example.com.