What is mediation and should we try it?

Introduction

Mediation offers a private, structured way for separating couples to resolve financial and child arrangement disputes without a contested court hearing. In England and Wales trained mediators help parties communicate, explore options and reach a mutually acceptable agreement. Mediation suits many families because it reduces cost, preserves control and minimises public exposure.

What mediation involves

A mediator is an independent neutral who facilitates negotiation but does not make decisions or give legal advice. Sessions may be joint or shuttle style where the mediator moves between separate rooms. Parties can attend with their solicitors or seek legal advice between sessions. Mediators focus on interests rather than positions and use structured techniques to identify realistic settlement options.

Types of mediation commonly used

– Family mediation: covers finances, property and child arrangements and follows standards set by the Family Mediation Council.

– Private mediation: tailored processes that may include financial experts or child specialists where cases raise technical or welfare issues.

– Online mediation: video or telephone sessions that suit clients with geographic constraints or tight timetables.

Benefits of mediation

– Cost efficiency: mediation usually costs far less than prolonged litigation because it reduces the need for multiple hearings and expert fees.

– Confidentiality: discussions and documents remain private unless the parties agree otherwise or courts require disclosure.

– Speed and flexibility: parties can set timetables and explore creative settlement mechanisms such as staggered payments or property buyouts.

– Control over outcome: parties craft the terms of settlement rather than having a judge impose a solution.

– Preserving relationships: mediation encourages pragmatic communication and often produces more durable agreements where children are involved.

When mediation makes sense

Mediation suits cases where both parties can engage in dialogue, where key issues relate to division of assets, pensions or childcare arrangements and where there is no immediate risk of dissipation. It works well for high net worth clients who want confidentiality and bespoke solutions, provided adequate protection exists for business interests and confidential information.

When mediation is not appropriate

Avoid mediation when there are serious allegations of domestic abuse, coercive control, significant non‑disclosure of assets or urgent dissipation risks. In such cases the court’s protective powers and urgent interim remedies such as freezing orders may be essential before meaningful negotiation can occur.

How to prepare for mediation

– Obtain early legal advice so each party understands rights, disclosure obligations and likely outcomes.

– Exchange essential financial information and produce a short financial summary or schedule to focus negotiations.

– Instruct experts where technical valuation or tax issues will affect settlement options.

– Agree confidentiality terms and a clear timetable for sessions and written offers.

Role of solicitors in mediation

Solicitors provide strategic advice, review draft agreements and ensure settlements are legally enforceable. Many parties benefit from attending mediator sessions with legal representation on hand or from seeking immediate legal review of proposals between sessions. Solicitors also draft consent orders that give effect to financial settlements.

Costs and likely outcomes

Mediation costs vary with complexity and the number of sessions. Many cases resolve within a few sessions; complex financial disputes may require several meetings and specialist input. Even where mediation does not produce a full settlement it often narrows issues and reduces subsequent litigation time and cost.

Conclusion — try mediation sooner not later

Mediation represents a pragmatic first step for most separating couples in England and Wales. It conserves resources, protects privacy and often results in more tailored outcomes than litigation. Parties should seek early legal advice, ensure sufficient disclosure and consider mediation well before pursuing contested court proceedings.

At Alexander JLO we have many years of experience of dealing with all aspects of family law and will be happy to discuss your case in a free no obligation consultation. Why not call us on +44 (0)20 7537 7000, email us at info@london-law.co.uk or get in touch via the contact us button and see what we can do for you?

This blog was prepared by Peter Johnson on 1st December 2025 and is correct at the time of going to press. With over forty years of experience in almost all areas of law Peter is happy to assist with any legal issue that you have. He is widely regarded as one of London’s leading divorce lawyers. His profile on the independent Review Solicitor website can be found Here.

To follow up on any of the above please contact Guy Wilton of our family department. Guy has wide experience of acting for the firm’s clients, their family and their businesses. Guy’s experience as a lawyer started in the Northern and Welsh Circuits, including the Liverpool Courts, where he represented numerous clients after being called to the Bar, before opting to join Alexander JLO in 2017 and qualifying as a solicitor in 2024. He is a highly experienced family lawyer with a particular interest in financial remedy proceedings and child contact disputes.

Guy’s profile on the independent Review Solicitor website can be viewed here.