A Lawyer’s Favourite Food: A Tasty Brief

Entrée to the Legal Larder. If you’ve ever wondered what a lawyer in England and Wales orders when hunger pleads its case, this post serves as a binding precedent. Serving up a humorous menu of legal-based puns, statutory snacks and courtroom cuisine, the essay argues—without malice aforethought—that a lawyer’s favourite food is, quite simply, “due process pudding.” Read on for a full indictment of flavours and a defence of dietary choices.

Why Food and Law Make Good Counsel

Lawyers love structure, and dinners follow rules: starters, main, dessert. In practice, solicitors and barristers in England and Wales build arguments the same way they build meals—methodically. They prefer their meals like their pleadings: well-referenced, properly served and impossible to object to. This explains the popularity of foods that require care, precision and a footnote or two—think soufflé, roast beef and anything that can be cross-examined for seasoning.

Opening Submissions — Breakfast Worthy of the Bar

A barrister’s breakfast must be brief but persuasive. They often open with “grounds for toast,” a legal predecessor to avocado on sourdough. Toast supports the rest of the case, so it must be solid; crumbly evidence gets struck out. English breakfasts have judicial heft: eggs (freshly laid evidence), bacon (fatty exhibits) and baked beans (the persuasive authority that holds the plate together). No bench can rule against such a hearty opening.

The Solicitor’s Salad — Carefully Drafted and Filed

Solicitors in England and Wales favour salads that read like well-drafted contracts: clear headings, defined terms and dressing negotiated to mutual satisfaction. A “Clause and Effect” Caesar includes croutons that act as schedule attachments and parmesan served with a side of endorsed receipt. Salads carry less risk of contempt—no spillage in court—and they travel well between client meetings and the firm’s conference room.

Main Course — Roast Litigation or Statutory Stew?

In the main course, flavours take centre stage like counsel in the Court of Appeal. Roast beef arrives with a bundle of precedent—Yorkshire pudding, a traditional English remedy against hunger. Alternatively, statutory stew simmers with complex ingredients, each representing a section of an Act. Judges prefer roast because it sits well with reasoned judgments. Barristers love a robust roast; they treat every joint as a potential exhibit.

The Tort-illa Wrap — Snacks for Quick Relief

When briefs pile up and the courtroom timer ticks, lawyers reach for snackable torts—tortilla wraps full of liability, negligence, salsa and negligence’s cousin, contributory negligence (extra spicy). Torts make handy finger food for hearings. They get eaten quickly, explored and sometimes appealed—especially if a colleague disputes who supplied the last slice.

Alternative Dispute Resolution: Tapas and Shared Plates

Mediation and negotiation favour tapas. Sharing small plates mimics ADR principles: both sides concede a prawn, keep an olive, and leave the table with a signed statement of satisfaction. Tapas foster goodwill, limit damage and create enforceable oral bargains—until someone forgets the gin and tonic and files a complaint.

Legal Aid Lunch — Cheap but Effective

Legal aid lunches must budget carefully. Sandwiches represent the legal aid system: practical, packed and often over-worked. A “PCL” (Public Client Lunch) must meet regulations, so it usually includes a stable carb, a protein and a statutory minimum of flavour. The lunchtime claim rarely covers caviar, but it sustains counsel through the afternoon session.

A Judge’s Dessert — Sweet Rulings and Short Sentences

Judges enjoy desserts that close cases with dignity. A well-constructed trifle resolves conflicting layers like a reasoned judgement resolves competing authorities. Sentencing might be short and sweet—custard for leniency, a dollop of jam for aggravating factors. If the dessert pleases the bench, the court adjourns with a satisfied gavel.

Drinks on Record — Liquid Evidence

Wine and coffee serve as liquid evidence. Coffee sustains counsel through long chambers sittings; wine lubricates social conversations after court. Tea, of course, constitutes primary evidence in England and Wales— in my case strong, black and admissible in every situation. A lawyer’s cup of tea meets the hearsay exception: it comforts and corroborates.

Vegetarian Counsel and Ethical Eating

Ethical eating has become a standing order in many chambers and firms. Vegetarian options proceed on the same merits as meat: high in principle and low in environmental culpability. “Herbivore Habeas” salads get drafted with botanical precision. Vegetarian cuisine often has better ethics disclosures and clearer provenance—no hidden offences, no confession required.

Family Law Feast — Shared Custard and Care

Family law proceedings often turn meals into mediation. A shared custody of the pudding scenario slips into negotiation: who gets the custard on weekends, who enjoys the treacle on bank holidays? Lawyers help clients reach parenting plans that look suspiciously like meal-sharing schedules. Parents sign orders that allocate breakfasts, dinners and the right to choose Saturday pizza toppings.

Criminal Kitchen — Fast Food on Bail

Criminal law tends to favour fast, reliable options: fish and chips served on the run, sometimes purchased while out on bail. Fast food represents immediacy. Defendants might plead for more time, but when midnight hunger strikes, they usually accept the take-away judgment. Even in custody, food follows rules: controlled portions and strict menus, which often inspire strategic appeals on humane grounds.

Professional Ethics — Don’t Cross-Examine Your Dinner

The SRA and Bar Standards Board would advise against cross-examining the chef. Professional ethics apply at table as they do in court: avoid conflicts of interest (don’t order from a friend’s restaurant without disclosure), maintain client confidentiality (don’t discuss clients over loud plates) and don’t mislead diners about your culinary qualifications. A firm of lawyers has to keep its menu of complaints short and truthful.

Food for Thought — Legal Puns That Stand Up

A lawyer’s favourite food inspires endless wordplay. Here’s a non-exhaustive list of tried and tested delights:

– Habeas Corpus-cake (you must produce the cake)

– Subpoena Colada (a tropical order you can’t refuse)

– Tortellini (for claims of negligent stuffing)

– Bail-me-out Brownies (served with a stay of execution)

– Pro Bono Bologna (free lunch for vulnerable clients)

Closing Argument: Verdict on the Favourite Food

After a full hearing, the court finds that a lawyer’s favourite food is not a single dish but a concept: food that adheres to precedent, keeps counsel alert and lends itself to a good pun. Whether they favour “due process pudding” or “subpoena colada,” lawyers in England and Wales eat to win: they build cases on firm evidence, serve meals with flair and always leave room for dessert. I rest my case—served with a slice of cheesecake and a citation.

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This blog was prepared by Alexander JLO’s senior partner, Peter Johnson on 22nd September 2025 and is correct at the time of publication. With decades of experience in almost all areas of law Peter is happy to assist with any legal issue that you have. He is widely regarded as one of London’s leading lawyers. His profile on the independent Review Solicitor website can be found Here