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Some practical guidance on dealing with children on divorce.

Divorce can be a challenging time for families, particularly when children are involved. It’s crucial to approach the situation with sensitivity and careful planning to minimise the impact on your kids. Here are some practical steps to help guide you through this difficult transition:

1. Prioritise Open Communication

Talk to Your Children: Honest communication is key. Explain the situation in an age-appropriate manner, ensuring they understand the divorce is not their fault and that both parents still love them.

Listen to Their Concerns: Encourage your children to express their feelings and concerns. Acknowledge their emotions and reassure them that their feelings are valid.

2. Present a United Front

When possible, talk to your children together with your co-parent. This ensures that they receive consistent information and feel supported by both parents. Avoid showing conflict or disagreement in front of them, as this can increase their anxiety.

3. Establish Stability

Consistent Routine: Maintain a stable routine to provide a sense of security. Try to keep meal times, bedtimes and school activities as consistent as possible.

Familiarity: Keep familiar items and routines intact, such as toys, books or bedtime stories, to provide comfort.

4. Develop a Co-Parenting Plan

Work with your co-parent to develop a parenting plan outlining schedules, holidays and other important aspects of childcare. This plan should be flexible enough to accommodate the needs of the children while ensuring both parents have meaningful involvement in their lives.

5. Protect Them from Conflict

Avoid exposing your children to any disputes or negative comments about the other parent. This protects their emotional well-being and helps them maintain their relationship with both parents independently of the divorce.

6. Seek Professional Support

Therapy for Children: Consider professional counselling or therapy for your children, providing them a safe space to discuss their feelings.

Co-Parenting Counselling: If communication with your ex-partner is difficult, consider mediation or professional legal guidance to support effective co-parenting strategies.

7. Encourage Positive Relationships

Support your children in maintaining healthy relationships with both sides of the family. Encourage time spent with each parent as well as interactions with extended family members, like grandparents and cousins.

8. Be Mindful of Your Behaviour

Model respectful behaviour and self-care. Your children will look to you for cues on how to handle stress and emotions. Demonstrating resilience and healthy coping mechanisms can teach them valuable life skills.

9. Be Patient

Understand that children may take time to adjust to the changes. Regression in behaviour, academic challenges or emotional outbursts are possible as they process their feelings. Patience and ongoing support are essential.

10. Maintain Open Dialogue

Continue to check in with your children even after the initial discussions. Ensure they know they can talk to you about any issues or feelings they experience over time.

Navigating divorce with children demands compassion, patience and open communication. By prioritising their emotional needs and maintaining a cooperative co-parenting arrangement, you can help your children emerge from this challenging time with resilience and a healthy outlook on family relationships.

This blog was prepared by Alexander JLO’s senior partner, Peter Johnson on the 15th January 2025 and is correct at the time of publication. With decades of experience in almost all areas of law Peter is happy to assist with any legal issue that you have. He is widely regarded as one of the capital’s leading divorce lawyers. His profile on the independent Review Solicitor website can be found Here